Do you sometimes feel like an outsider in your own life? Like you’re waiting to be granted access to the VIP lounge within yourself? Do you feel like a stranger in a strange land where nothing makes sense? And, like making true connections with other people would require miracles from God? Are you walking through existence with a question mark above your head? And, your mind playing games with you while you’re struggling with the puzzle pieces? All the happy people who are simply satisfied with their 9-5 jobs and 2.3 kids, blissfully unaware of everything that is just…wrong. Darkness, what? Depression, what? We’ve been lied to about everything, what? You mean we’re not supposed to torture and eat animals, what? You mean we’ve practically been lobotomized to where we only have access to ten percent of who we really are? You mean there’s more to life than just procreating and shopping? What?
While the masses sleepwalk through their perfect (or not so perfect) little lives I’ve been wandering a lonely path with no one to lean on. I’ve been lost and hurt. Debilitated from heartbreak, disappointment, and disillusionment. Almost broken beyond repair. Rather than thinking my way through, I’ve felt it. And, I’ve walked with my blinders off. I’ve hopped down the rabbit hole, and I’ve learned some things that would be easier not to know. I’ve been searching and waiting and trying. Just to end up alone with little to my name.
The ground shifts beneath my feet, and I fight to maintain balance. What others find joy in is meaningless to me. Small talk, shoot me. Small thinking, I can’t handle it. Living inside the box, just put me in a box and bury me. I can’t take the smallness. There is more available to us than what’s been given. We’re trapped on a planet where suffering abounds, and there’s not much we can do about it. Our answer to activism is sharing injustices on Facebook that no one pays attention to. There’s so much wrongness, and it’s easy to get lost in it. The only answer that comes to me is ‘Be the light’. Instead of sitting in hell, stand in Heaven. Be the light. Be the truth. Be the answer. If you can’t find it outside of yourself, BE IT.
If you feel different, don’t be angry. Be grateful. You’ve been given a great gift. And when you’re ready, you can open it. What you think is your worst curse is your greatest blessing. And, it’s more than likely your purpose. It’s a matter of choice that you can make in an instant to turn it around. In a single breath, a single thought, a single moment you can turn it on its head.