Guidance & Healing

Answering the Call

Yikes, I feel uncomfortably called out by the universe with these two cards. Victim and Dissipating from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle by Tori Hartman. And, of course, they each appeared twice to me while barely touching the deck. Uncomfortably called out is exactly how I have felt for the last several years. It’s literally as if the entire universe is watching me, and nothing escapes it. I’m somehow surrounded by interested parties. At first it was flattering and curious. Later it became confusing and uncomfortable. Maybe eight years ago I do remember giving permission to ‘We’ to see through my eyes. I’ve often wondered if this is where it began, or if it was always happening unbeknownst to me. I had found Cathee Courter, a psychic medium on YouTube those eight years ago, and I ended up having several phone conversations with her. She is the one who made me aware of ‘We’. Apparently, it’s an energetic conglomerate that exists in another dimension that governs my soul circle. She said that each soul circle has one. It’s almost like a governing body making sure that the circle of souls that are regularly incarnated together are contributing to the needs and goals of the entire circle. If I remember correctly, scarily enough, they seem to have the ability to ‘rearrange’ one’s life if they see that they can help with the circle. I’m also assuming that it was also to improve my life, because I was really going nowhere fast and didn’t even realize it. This is what seems to have happened to me, but honestly I don’t really know. It’s been highly frustrating not having the answers.

The Victim card talks of re-evaluating one’s life to make sure they are not blaming others for their experiences and urges self-responsibility and sovereign choice. I feel that most of the time, in most of our lives, we are unconsciously choosing things that on a conscious level we are barely aware of if at all. Then we blame others for where we are. In my situation, I’ve seen a lot of very subtle truth but have conveniently denied it and played dumb. Did I just need more attention, or was I a glutton for punishment? The longer we deny our truths and delay assimilating our knowledge, the more pain we’re going to experience. Cognitive dissonance is being of one belief and yet living another. It almost makes me think of the Five of Wands card in tarot. A constant battle within ourselves.

I’ve been saying for years now that what I want more than anything else in life is to be a super psychic and a powerful medium able to communicate with plants, animals, and beings from other dimensions. This takes discipline, practice, focus, learning, balance, and a healthy temple. I, on the other hand, have not been taking care of myself and have been highly unfocused. The problem is, I also want many other things. But, eventually, a choice has to be made. What do we want more? What do we want the most? The Victim card asks to get clear on the steps that must be taken for success, and then take one step. Then take the next one and the next one. No longer do we have the luxury of using fear as our excuse. I mean, surely, we can take one step, right?

Next, we have the Dissipating card. Am I going to keep talking the talk and dreaming the dream, or am I going to do it and experience it? On my deathbed, will I have all of these amazing experiences to recall, or will I feel the hollowness of dreams unfulfilled? Isn’t this what we all must grapple with? What is it that your soul speaks to you about in those rare silent moments? What is your wildest dream that you think certainly you don’t have what it takes to make happen? Remember, that what we seek seeks us. We are dreaming about it for a reason, and don’t we owe it to ourselves to meet our destinies?

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