They say ‘move on’, forget it and forgive it, act like it never happened. Well, that’s not gonna happen. Until I say my peace, at least. Then I might leave the rest up to karma. I don’t feel I can successfully and completely move on until I’ve shared my complete truth. And, I’ve decided I have every right to, considering all I’ve been put through. I can’t even believe how much shit I’ve endured at the hands of unknown and unseen people. Lord knows I’ve made more than my share of mistakes in life. But, I have never and never will deliberately set out to ‘get’ someone. All I’ve ever wanted was to blend into the background and to be left alone.
Long story short, I found myself in something that just didn’t make sense to me. It began about six years ago when my trusted psychic told me that I’d be going into a secret society. This was odd, considering I had never once given the idea any thought. But, being a conspiracy theorist/truther, what she was telling me was at least my realm of understanding. Looking back on it all now, it’s pretty obvious I wasn’t meant for one. I think deep down I knew this, but because I’m attracted to intrigue it kept me in the game. Even though I’m sure I’d been dealing with Masons and the like for many years before this, as far as I was aware this story begins in 2016.
Me being me, I’ll freely admit I’ve been in jail multiple times for unpaid speeding tickets, driving with no insurance, and unpaid bad checks. I’m not a bad person. I’ve just always been bad with money, and I don’t believe in a lot of man-made rules. I’ve been a rebel without a cause, I guess you can say. My last time in jail, I met a Hispanic card-reader. Always being drawn to psychics and believing more in the unseen than the seen, I kind of befriended her. When I got out, I would take her calls and also help her financially. I did this mainly because I put myself in her shoes. I wouldn’t want to be in there with no one to to talk to or to help. Her family had slightly disowned her, due to her choices in the past. But, long ago I stopped judging people over certain things. I think because I’ve made mistakes, I understand that the sum is greater than the parts. We are more than our choices. Eventually, though, we are called to change and grow.
This time of talking to her and helping her coincided with what was starting to happen to me. She was the only person I felt I could talk to about any of this. Most people just would not be able to understand. Without going into detail for my own safety, she grew up in the ‘underground’. I shared with her what my psychic had told me, and she knew exactly what I was talking about since she had been through some of it herself. I was told that five different entities were listening to my phone calls. I never got to ask which ones. All I know is that for the last several years, absolutely nothing I do, say, or think is private. Literally. I can’t think a thought without some physical feedback. I can’t go to the bathroom or even have a face-to-face conversation without it being known. Don’t ask me how, because I’ve tried to figure it out. I’ve speculated and speculated, but I still don’t have the truth and maybe never will. Eventually, I might just have to let it go.
It’s been extremely confusing as to why any of this has happened and if it will ever end. I’ve had no clue what to do with any of this information. I keep getting signs from the Universe that I’m supposed to write a book. But, on the other hand, I’ve wondered if it’s best to keep it all quiet. I’ve only told a handful of people parts of this. No one that knows me truly knows what I’ve been through. Even if I were to try to explain it, they would dismiss me as crazy and delusional. Honestly, I already give off the ‘etherial’ vibe, being not quite of this world. I’ve never felt like I fit in here, and to this day I still haven’t found my place, my tribe.
Being an eleven life path, an Indigo spirit, and having three placements of Scorpio in my chart, I’m not surprised that the spirit world is part of my journey. But, what is this? Has anyone else been through mysterious, unexplainable, spiritual experiences? I would love to hear your stories. I still haven’t gotten to all the BS that all of this has attracted, and I think I’m going to save it for my next post since this one is already longer than usual. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for the next one…